What's short for sex? Leslie Jordan

Four-foot-11 actor Leslie Jordan makes the tall claim that he's "the gayest man in the world." Whether or not that's true, he may be the lustiest.

In his dishy new memoir, "My Trip Down the Pink Carpet," the puckish veteran of such series as “Ally McBeal,” “Boston Legal” and Murphy Brown” unflinchingly describes his substance abuse and sex addiction. (One of the enduring mysteries of his life is waking up inside the gates of a lumberyard near West Hollywood’s gay bars, unable to remember how he got there and why "I did not have on any underpants.")
But the funniest passages concern his seemingly endless crushes on his male (and mostly straight) co-stars.

Jordan laments that he never got the chance: "There are probably a lot of things I'll go a lifetime without seeing - the Mona Lisa, the Tai Mahal, the pyramids. And I'll probably never see Billy Bob's wiener, either."

The actor - best known for his Emmy-winning role as Karen's nemesis on "Will & Grace" - stood a better chance of seeing the man parts of Robert Downey Jr. when they met in jail.

Jordan was there for DUI convictions. (He avoided getting beaten up by telling the burly Mexican inmates stories about George Lopez, his former co-star in "Ski Patrol.") For half a day, they shared a cell. Jordan later wrote Downey a letter asking him to befriend an outcast HIV-positive inmate.

Years later, the "Iron Man" star confessed, "That letter really meant a lot to me."

[Sean and I were invited to opening night - but we will be on the cruise with Nelson and Juan.]